Hello, reader.
I think many of us will know the feeling of things building up and wearing you down a bit in the process. It tests your patience, resilience and willpower as well as stressing you out at the same time.
We all know the phrase “These things are sent to try us”. In many ways, that phrase is absolutely true. Another phrase I remember (from a Star Trek film of all things) is “What the hell, nobody said life was safe” which does make me think - probably a bit too much, given I can sometimes “over-think” things. And that could quite possibly be a trait shared by many analytical people.
I think one of the things that many people do not understand about living with mental illness is the notion of “having limits”. Does this mean we are slow & stupid? It absolutely does not. Does it mean we are useless etc.? No it does not.
Everybody is different; you cannot put us into boxes or define us by what mental health condition (or the like) we have to battle. Sometimes, one good thing we can do try and do is to try and learn. Learn little things if we can, “tools to fight” with if you like. The professionals sometimes call these sorts of things “coping strategies”. In practice, the jury’s out as to whether I would call it that.
Because in a sense, ‘coping strategies’ can imply that life is not fully lived, or is like a game or exercise, where a ‘strategy’ is put in place. Whether you are faced with an illness, mental or physical, this ultimately does not mean that you cannot enjoy or be involved within things to their full extent. Where the notion of ‘limits’ become important is not necessarily in terms of placing limits upon yourself, but in learning and coming to know that there are structures – boundaries, limits, guidelines, whatever you want to call them, that you can help build in order to help you. We can construct our own limits and this can actually be a freeing thing.
For example, I may find it difficult to have a conversation with a large group of people for more than five minutes without becoming anxious and agitated. However, over time, I have learned and recognised this limit – but do not let it limit myself. Now I can relax more readily in self-awareness and therefore feel assured when I approach people for conversation, that as a result I have options if I feel uncomfortable or anxious.
Because knowing limits, is, as aforementioned, not to limit yourself – it can actually give you options. Whether you find social situations or solitude difficult, knowing your limits of comfort within these allows you to have something to work with and also develop accordingly. These then can be incredible tools to fight –self-awareness, respect and patience. They are not easy but integral implements to help you carry on building – not just in your relationship with yourself, but with others.
Although it may well feel that these things are sent to test us – every one of us is capable of having the tools to construct our way through. Because rather than just confronting the situation, we can tackle it constructively and develop both in light of our experiences and in preparing for new ones.
Songs for the journey…
Here are links to a few songs that you might be able to identify with. Happy listening!
If you have any you’d like to share with us then please write them in the comment box or send us a an e-mail at havingawordmh@gmail.com
“These things are sent to….”
Written & edited by Scott W (@ScottMHC14) and Emily Oldfield (@EmilyvOldfield)
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